As I reflect over the past year, my heart is overwhelmed with the changes that have taken place. From a soul that was crying out for an eternal perspective to a now soul that would take it all back to have one more touch, one more word, one more "No, REALLY, I love you." The eternal perspective has been given though and the what ifs and why are all laid on the floor.
My soul is so deeply thankful for being able to physically care for Joye and Herman... and yet I can not comprehend that they are gone. My heart is overwhelmed to see pictures of my dad just a few months ago playing with the kids and now all I can remember is his gentle touch, gone forever.
Death comes as a mercy for those who are believers and suffer.
In the moments that have forever changed my life I am uniquely linked to floor. It is the place I fall. I fall over in disbelief of what is happening, I fall into a ball of tears, I fall and just rock back and forth as questions flood my mind. It is fitting that the floor would be the place for that; is where I am most humbled.
I remember the first time I purposed to be on the floor... the moment I realized I had NEVER bowed before my King. So I nervously placed myself on the floor of our apartment and prayed to the King of Kings. I remember the embarrassment I felt alone in my apartment, how ridiculous. It is where I meet Christ face to face and call for Him.
Humility comes when I bow myself before you on the floor, be it the actual floor or the floor of my heart. You look down and remember that I am but dust and have mercy on me... but I need the floor to remind me that you are all I need. Lord, humble me and please let me see the floor that I may glorify you, every second, every hour, every day.
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