At the almost year mark of Anneke's death, there are more days than not that I forget that she is not here. My heart hurts, aches to talk to her. I still find myself thinking, "I should call Anneke..." But I know she is with You, praising You, worshiping You, seeing You. Why would she want to be here? She wouldn't!
But my heart, my selfishness... wants to see her... hear her... feel her... love her!
Lord, I need your help.... to move me past these days of sorrow. As we get ready to leave for Holland, my heart grows more and more overwhelmed with the understanding that she is not going to be there. I want to make new memories, with my "new" family. You are placing a deep love in my heart for Sandra and at times I am thankful and others I am angry because I want Anneke... but those are not your plans. Help me to move in the pure and holy direction of Your Will. I trust You!
In Jesus Name ~
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